In the past I’ve always had control over things. It allowed me to be a perfectionist, or at least strive for perfection, in all facets of life. Now that life has kicked into full gear, it’s clear that there’s not much I can actually control. I don’t necessarily think this is a bad thing but it could be devastating to myself if I do not recognize and accept it.
I’ve tried to build a website multiple times, but I’ve always planned my way out of it, over complicating the meanings, end goals, and what I wanted to create. I need to accept that I’m my own worst enemy so this time will be different. I have some rough ideas of what I’d like to do here and I’ll keep it that way, rough ideas.
Hobbies and interests will be key here and maybe a few ideas for my future self to look back and reflect on later. Less worrying about the “look” and “use” of the website and just aiming to have a clean format with a blank slate to write about things that fill my head when no one’s listening. I want it to be a depository of selfish indulgences and not worry how it looks to the reader who probably has more experience with the topic anyway.
I hope to learn how to write in longer formats and to challenge myself on grammar and the purpose of each topic. Diving deep into topics and writing them along the way feels much more useful than trying to teach someone something that I’m not an expert in. Meaningful for me may not mean meaningful for the reader, and I need to accept that.
I just want a piece of real estate on the internet outside of the social media machine. Those that want to join me are welcomed to but I won’t beg or push. Read as you will and stay as long as you’d like, I do hope what I have to say is interesting to someone else out there.